Will it? Won’t it? It will, but how?

September 5, 2023 James Collins

It either will or it won’t. Rain, that is. It’s been the topic of conversation for the past couple of days, and the weather forecast wars have already begun.

‘We’re going to have a storm.’
‘Tuesday is going to be dreadful.’
‘My weather app doesn’t say anything about a storm.’
‘There’s the possibility of 0.03 mm of rain overnight!’
‘It smells like rain.’
‘Windfinder says there’ll be some cloud and a chance of a few drops. It’s usually accurate.’
‘These things change.’
‘I use Poseidon, it’s always right.’
‘Those look like rain clouds.’
‘It’s going to be a dreadful Autumn.’
‘Yes, I hear you are in for some nasty weather.’
‘I’m not going to the beach on Tuesday. My weather app says there’s going to be a hurricane.’
‘It was only storm force eight on my app, with a chance of snow. It’s always right.’
‘Better start building that ark.’

Get over it, people! We have a sky overhead. It is going to rain at some point. Surely there’s something of slightly more interest to discuss. (Currently, that appears to be the shocking news that the authorities have, after X number of years, decided to implement a legal requirement that’s been a requirement since it was legally required for the requirement of the first party to be required by the second party hereof to have the requirement in place and until it is, you can’t breach that required law, so there.)

The first rain since the last rain. It’s always the subject of great discussion and, surprisingly, not only among the British. Then again, the weather is a standard fallback discussion for anyone who’s not quite sure how to fill those long, three-second gaps in conversation that some nationalities can’t cope with at the café table. I’m more than happy to sit in companionable silence and watch the world turn, and don’t feel the need to constantly pump questions into a table mate as though I were a machine gun, and they the enemy. But, when these awkward (for some) pauses in what apparently needs to be a constant flow of conversation occur, the weather is often the choice of topic. Or the topic of choice.

The weather yesterday was exactly as my favourite weather station predicted. (https://poseidon.hcmr.gr in case you were wondering. It has moving pictures and everything!) Warm, some clouds, light breeze, sunlight, chance of rain… We get some kind of weather here every day. There were thunderstorms over Turkey last night, but this morning, it doesn’t look to me as though we had any rain. It’s kind of semi-predicted-perhaps for later this morning now, and we’ve been downgraded from a definite light showering to a potential spit. So, stand down people and relax.

I often wonder how the weather for the island is predicted, seeing as there is no weather station here (that I know of). I always assume these sites and places take their historical readings from nearby, like Rhodes airport (?) or Datca in Turkey which is closer to us, or… well, I don’t know, but I do know meteorologists know their job, and that’s fine, but it’s very rare that what’s predicted on Friday for next Monday happens without changing, so you have to wonder about the point of looking at the weather forecast. Unless it’s to give you an idea of how the seas might be when you sail out of port, or something, the best way to ‘I’ll just see what the weather is doing’ is to go out in it.

Day to day on Symi

Sunday Early Morning

September 4, 2023 James Collins

Well, this is ridiculous. It’s so early on Sunday morning it might as well be Saturday night, and I am up and about, raring to go after an astonishing five-hour sleep. I can’t even blame the heat, as it’s nowhere near as hot and humid as it has been of late. I can only blame my enthusiasm for the day ahead, as that’s been the thing to wake me up these past months. Later, my siesta will happen around the time most people are having elevenses, and I’ll probably be heading to bed around the time people are heading out to dinner, if not high tea. Ah well. The day ahead is mine to do with as I will, and I know what I will be doing.

First, though, a cup of tea, and to look through the headlines of a virtual newspaper, exploring the full articles that interest me, sometimes tutting at the stupidity of the world, the gullibility of the masses, or the evil arrogance of old men who know each other and send into combat young men who don’t. Then, it’s a quick glance at the dreaded Facebook to find out what the distant friend of someone I almost met once is up to; to decline an invitation to follow someone I ‘may also know’ and ask, why would I? How would I? and, How would you ever think I’d want to? Through a slew of advertisements for things I either a) don’t want, or b) have only recently bought, and then I’m into the realm of inappropriate suggestions for pages to ‘follow’ as though I were a lemming, posts from groups I’ve never heard of whose interest is so far removed from my own they may as well be on Uranus, and more adverts for those I have just removed and been promised I won’t see again.

A calming cup of tea on the balcony, listening to the is-it-night, is-it-morning roar of the frustrated teen (and often, older man) as he powers his 50cc contraption up the hill thinking it’s a world land-speed record attempt, to treat the amphitheatre of the harbour to the sound of his twin-stroke, moped/lawnmower engine; to stop on the road to chat loudly with a mate; to return to the harbour because he’s forgotten something—his dignity, perhaps? Certainly his sense of community compassion— before having another go, and finally, fading away. By which time, the tea is done, and my mind is set to my morning ramble.

So, off on my commute, across the porch with a new cup of tea, the porch light switched on to deter the bugs, and into the workhouse to spark up the typing machine and my table lamp, which this morning, chooses to flicker and hiss as the bulb goes into its death throws at the only time I don’t have a replacement. I tighten it, and hope, but hope is futile, so I go searching for another just in case, even though I know I don’t have one. Opening drawers like a mime artist in slow motion so I don’t wake up the husband. Creeping around the house and finding nothing but the creakiest floorboard, and the noisiest drawers. Finally deciding to decant the piano anglepoise from the living room to the desk, all of which must be done in silence, and isn’t, and having plugged in the lamp, wonder why I haven’t done it before because it’s so much better.

And from there, I set about my day with this ‘get it out of yer head and who cares’ piece of whatever you are reading, before turning my fuller attention to finishing the first draft of a new story which is racing in at 105,000 words and is ripe for editing. As it’s Sunday, I will only work for six hours instead of the usual seven, and, if I am awake enough, will take a stroll around the village later to have a break and stretch my legs. I’ve been doing this for years, and they’re still short, so that ridiculous theory is clearly a lie. At least it gives me a chance to take some photos (when I remember), like a couple here today. Namely, the sunrise and the neighbour’s bougainvillea. The other picture is a ‘photo from the balcony because I need to put something up’ effort.

And so, to work, perchance to write something decent.

Day to day on Symi

Friday Roundup

September 1, 2023 James Collins

I think Fridays will become ‘A catchup on the week and random photo day,’ not that any other day on these pages isn’t random enough.

What have I done this week? Not an easy one to answer as I can’t remember what I did yesterday, let alone… Oh yes. One of the highlights was celebrating 26 years of meeting the man currently throwing himself around the sitting room with grunts and gasps. (Home workout routine before he goes swimming. I, meanwhile, hide and hope I’m not picked on to join in.) We went to Georgio’s Taverna for dinner with a couple of friends and received a hearty feed for a very reasonable price.

Not all photos are from this week. This one is from the week before.

I have spent my average of 50 hours per week at this machine wearing away the keyboard and wondering why the H has almost faded and how long the T will last. I have stickers to replace them when I wear out the letters. I’ve spent a couple of hours at the piano trying to master a Mozart sonata I should have mastered years ago but was too busy playing swing, jazz and musical numbers to bother, and have started planning my piano student’s fourth year which should start this month when the schools go back.

Er… Oh, I went up and down the hill a couple of times to plot murders and things. Only book related, you understand. I’ve also been reading about music halls of the late 19^th century and how they seemed to be more about scandal and court cases than song and dance. I’ve thought about changing the trap beneath the kitchen sink but not got around to it yet, and I have spent some time cleaning a cupboard. After that wrestle with the website, the tax bill got paid, freeing me up to donate some money to the water board. Michaelis came to read the meter weeks ago, but I’ve not yet seen the bill. It’s sometimes left in the gate, but never taken, and I wonder if it got put in the landlord’s post box by mistake. If so, it’s not there now (and neither is he), so someone may have taken it to pay on his behalf, thinking it was his. I’ll send a random amount to the account to keep things flowing and, one day, pop into the office with a reading to get the definitive bill. One day.

For now, it’s back to 1892, a steam train, a storm, a tower and a rather complicated piece of plotting which needs weeding in the second draft. Oh, I also watered the ‘garden’ this week.

Books & writing

Not That Exciting After All.

August 31, 2023 James Collins

I can now return to the story of how, 21 years ago, it took us 11 days to reach Symi. This has been made possible by Wonder Woman sending me a couple of screenshots, and me working out that it was the ‘translate this page’ command on my browsers that was kicking me out of the tax system. I got there in the end, and all is right with that part of the world. Meanwhile…

This time 21 years ago, we were in Athens enjoying the sights through the eye-watering smog of late August. It’s much better now, I am told. We were on the lookout for somewhere to stay and had decided to try some other places rather than just jog down here where we’d been before. So, after a couple of days in the city, we took the underground to Piraeus and boarded a boat that stopped at Paros. We were travelling with a rucksack each and a laptop, and that was it, and it was no trouble to find accommodation as soon as we stepped off the boat. We stayed in Paros for a couple of days before looking at Antiparos just over the water, and we found accommodation there before we’d even boarded the ferry. Not via a travel agency (and we had no travelling internet in those days), but by walking towards the boat with rucksacks.

The cousin of a brother’s cousin’s friend’s second koumbaros’ fourth cousin just happened to have a nice one-bed apartment for €20 a night, and we struck the deal before we boarded. Sure enough, at the other end of the short journey was a chap waiting to whisk us to this very nice flat on the edge of the main village, only a few minutes walk into town one way and out to the beach the other, and it was so nice we stayed there for about five days.

Although we made enquiries about possible work the next season and rental prices, Antiparos was too small for our needs, so we decided to keep on heading south and go back to Symi. Which is probably where we both knew we’d end up anyway. We booked tickets for the Marina which was due to depart from Paros the following night at 11.59. Yes, I thought that was rather precise too, but that’s what it said. However, as we sat opposite the port gates at 21.45 and having just ordered an ouzo, I read the name on the side of a ferry just pulling in, MAPINA. One minute to midnight my aspidistra! A quick dash, no time for the ouzo, and on board as the tailgate was going up.

We arrived in Symi via Rhodes and a hydrofoil the next day (September 8^th, Neil’s birthday), and here we still are. Not a very exciting tale, but that’s why it took 11 days, 21 years ago. I have no photos of the trip that I can easily find, they are in a box somewhere in the storeroom, and wouldn’t be very good anyway. I’m sure I have told this story in more detail and with more enthusiasm in ‘Symi, Stuff & Nonsense’ if you want to find out more.

Day to day on Symi

21 Years Ago Today – Coming soon

August 30, 2023 James Collins

I was going to tell you that 21 years ago today Neil and I were in Athens on our way to a new life in Greece, rather a year in Greece to see how we got on, as that was the original plan. But…

21 years later, I find myself at my PC wrestling with the government’s tax payment system, and that has knocked all interesting and potentially humorous wind from my sails. I will return to our eleven-day journey to Symi tomorrow, and vent some of that wind, which is now steam. Please excuse me for a paragraph or two, but we’ll all feel better afterwards when I will share some random photos because you don’t want to look at photos of my tax return screen. You can’t anyway. I can’t get into it.

It’s yesterday afternoon and I have just spent a good hour trying to pay my tax and failing. It’s all very well providing an online system, Mr Greek Taxman, but when I can access it one day and not the next, when a friend can access it from her PC and find my ‘needs to be paid’ page, and I can’t, and when I’ve tried everything I can think of with no joy, well, I feel inclined to tell you where to insert your returns.

I shan’t, but I shall wait patiently and try again later, which has been my mantra for the past few days. I’ve tried at four in the morning when the system surely can’t be overloaded with grateful taxpayers clamouring to send you all their hard-earned loot, and I’ve tried at random times through the day – siesta time included – in all manners possible, only to receive the same message about a system error, or an incorrect password when it isn’t incorrect. I managed to get in two days ago with no hassle, but my bill wasn’t ready. Now it allegedly is, I appear to be defeated at the gates every time.

Yes, cookies cleared, add-ins disabled, VPN disabled, and all security put on pause (which is a bit worrying, but you never know), I’ve tried on two browsers, tried doing it standing on my head, copied the username and password direct, copied it via notepad, written it in by hand (played havoc with the screen), typed it, shouted it in two languages, but still, the government clearly do not want my tax payment.

It’s odd. I can’t get into Neil’s either although I could the other day. I have tried on his PC, and that won’t work, yet I was able to look at both a few days ago. Meanwhile, my trusted friend can access it fine, which makes me think it’s an issue on our PCs here, but both of them and randomly? I shall have to either bother my friend to let me in via her magic portal (mine, actually, but on her machine) or speak to my accountant.

Ah well, I will buy myself a cocktail at a certain bar instead, and still come out better off.

Thank you for listening.