All posts by James Collins

Lonely House published

Lonely House James Collins
Lonely House by James Collins

Today we are forgetting all about Grexits and grubby British newspapers and turning our attention to an altogether much more palatable subject. Horror-Thriller novels. And mine in particular.

What’s that got to do with Symi? I hear you shout in a mass outcry of, ‘Oh Lord! What’s he going on about today?’ Well, it was written here, though it’s set somewhere else. And it is now published and available on Amazon (UK, Europe and Com) and also on Lulu and on Kindle. You can find it on Amazon.co.uk Kindle edition here.

And you can find the paperback version here.

Yes, it is a thriller and yes, there are some yucky bits in it, but nothing too yucky. In fact, I’ve been told by my ‘beta readers’ (hate that expression) that it’s more creepy/scary then gory horror. But still, make what you will of it. And if you do get a copy and read it please consider writing a review as the reviews on Amazon really do help. (Some for ‘the Judas Inheritance’ are quoted on the back of ‘Lonely House’ so you might end up in print yourself.

Images from Symi Greece by Neil Gosling and James Collins
Yesterday’s sunrise

That’s it for today, a plug for the new novel. I will be away now to carry on with the next one which is far funnier, far less horrific and a lot gayer than Lonely House. But, just so you know: here’s the blurb for LH:

“Drover and Pete are two hopeful drifters looking for a better life. Desperate for food, they break into an isolated house deep in a forest. There they accidentally shoot an old man just as the rest of his family arrive for a birthday gathering.

Under intense suspicion from the family, the boys attempt to cover up the accident. But they are not the only ones keeping a murderous secret. Mistrust and deception unearth a primeval ritual as the lies give way to a terrifying truth.

With time running out and a deadly force closing in, Drover and Pete’s survival rests on the strength of their friendship, but they must face some horrific choices in order to stay alive.”

James Collins is the author of The Judas Inheritance on which is based the forthcoming feature film The Thirteenth, starring Kurtis Stacey, Rebecca Grant, Wookie Meyer, Richard Syms, and Lorna Doyle. He lives and works in Greece. This is his ninth novel and second horror-thriller.

Images from Symi Greece by Neil Gosling and James Collins
Pedi bay water paterns

Newspaper nonsense on an historic day (possibly)

It’s Tuesday, it’s 45 minutes before the Greek Prime minister makes an announcement, thought, at the moment, to be about Greece leaving the Eurozone at the end of the month; possible clamp down on cash withdrawals from banks, possible limits on shifting money out of the country, and all kinds of other things going on. My contact in the UK sent me a link to the headlines of the British press this morning and I took a quick look to see what the news about Greece is:

Images from Symi Greece by Neil Gosling and James Collins
The same old sun is still coming up in the mornings

“Two chocolate Bars a day might cut strokes.” No, Mirror, won’t be able to import chocolate soon. Er: “Morning after pill can be sold to under-16s.” Possibly a bit late in certain places I can think of. No, that’s not it Guardian… “How chocolate can add years to your life.” Thanks Express, but I’ve been living by that belief for many years now. Keeps looking…

“Greedy dentists fleece families.” Well, if they are so greedy, D Mail (averts eyes), how come they clothing all those families in fleeces? I could do with a new one for the winter, thanks. “It’s boil Ascot!” got to be The Star. Get that fleece off, it’s June! Moves quickly on…

Images from Symi Greece by Neil Gosling and James Collins
The kantina is spruced up and now open in the evenings – great views, worth the walk

“Pope warns of ‘unprecedented damage’ from climate change.” Can only assume, Independent, that he got his info from a higher authority. “Starr sues ‘grope victim’ for £300k.” That’s from something called Free Metro… Keeps looking… “3 Mums, 9 Kids, 1 Hell.” Screams the Sun who are clearly reporting from Sotiris’ goat farm up the mountain, but no, not what I was looking for…

Ah ah! The Times, in its second leader, or whatever t’s called, “Greece in ‘state of emergency’.” Well, as far as I know it’s not, but it may be in eight minutes as it’s now nearly 14:00, the appointed hour for the PM to have a chat with us.

Images from Symi Greece by Neil Gosling and James Collins
Symi building in the dawn light

Financial Times: “Tsipras vows to resist ‘pillaging’ of Greece in blow to deal prospect.” A pretty big blow if he is indeed going to announce, in seven minutes that he is not paying the moneylenders their money so they can give him some more that he can use to pay them back with next time. (Sound like first class laundry service to me.)

And The Telegraph: “Greece on brink of Euro Exit.” At last! My headlines. Thanks for telling me that. Now I know what’s going on. Of course I should have just gone and read one of the 101 available Greek newspapers, which actually I do do from time to time, or watched the everlasting news programmes that are on, which I do less frequently now that I have Sim City BulidIt on my tablet.

Images from Symi Greece by Neil Gosling and James Collins
Our current morning target – fast walk up, careful jog down

If I sound flippant it’s because I am. I will let you know how the forthcoming Grexit (as it surely is a certainty now) affects us as it goes on. But so far, so good. And it might even get better for you coming on holiday as things should be cheaper, unless they’ve been bought in from abroad, like fuel and power, and gas, and supplies in which case, they might be the same price for you earning Euros, Sterling or Dollars etc. and more expensive for anyone earning Drachma. Ah, it’s two o’clock now, just need to post this up with some pics from the photo bag and I can go and see what’s to become of Greece for real. Meanwhile, I shall set about my two chocolate bars while I can still afford them.

Images from Symi Greece by Neil Gosling and James Collins
Panagia Skiadeni coming in at dusk

And, sorry to throw this in as what looks like an afterthought, but in more important and local news, I just learned from Michaelis at the Town Hall that Pacho, of Pacho’s kafeneion fame, has died. Very sad as I am sure a lot of people would have known him.

Grexit, boats and paperwork

Shouldn’t have taken the micky our of Mrs What’s’ername yesterday. The next time my Mailwasher went ‘ping’ I got another spam email. This time from myself apparently. I didn’t open it, it looked like a bill.

Images from Symi Greece by Neil Gosling and James Collins
Symi sponges

Now, you know I’m not one for news, but I am keeping an eye on what’s going to happen to Greece at the end of the month, the Grexit and Euro fiasco and all that. I don’t really have an opinion on it other than, ‘If you’re going to do something then get on with it! We’re all rather bored of the story now, we need a new twist.’ I mean, if this was a novel you’d have put it down long ago. Well, I would have. So, if I get wind of anything interesting from all of this that might possibly affect Symi, then I’ll let you know.

Images from Symi Greece by Neil Gosling and James Collins
Romantic times

I only mention this because my ‘Mister Enthusiastic For Dramatic Headlines’ back in the UK is sending me regular updates, as he sees them. He is a journalist, so he has this eye for the selling point, so the distillation of the UK reporting might be biased towards what would sell his paper, if he still worked on one. Example: it seems the Mail in Sunday has a ‘special’ reporter in Athens who can report from ground zero on the way the Greek National Health Service is starting to resemble parts of the British NHS. The wonderfully obtuse newspaper apparently reports that in Greece’s hospitals, “…babies are being held to ransom until bills are paid. Hospital porters [are] being sent out as paramedics. The headline is how people in Greece are literally dying to leave Europe.”

Images from Symi Greece by Neil Gosling and James Collins
Music with your meal?

And apparently life expectancy in Greece is now down by three years, so probably down to 96 then. But read all that with a pinch of snuff because it may be bad in one hospital in the poorer parts of the largest city in the country, but elsewhere? Well, come and see the excellent Rhodes hospital, or check into an IKA specialist for a free consultation, and I expect you’ll find a different story.

But enough seriousness; whatever you do, don’t let this kind of reporting, the (I wish they’d get a move on one way or the other) Grexit, my ramblings on subjects I know very little about, and the scandalous reporting of refugee, financial, health and other crises, put you off booking that ticket and getting on that plane. The water’s lovely, come on in, as they say.

Images from Symi Greece by Neil Gosling and James Collins
Up in the village

And meanwhile, back in the real world which is the view from the desk: The taxi boats are going out, the Poseidon’s long gone out (this is yesterday morning by the way), there are some super-yachts (that’s a matter of opinion) hanging about, plenty of those white ones you can hire and take out after only half an hour’s training (gulp!), and some Turkish gullets nosing in. The ‘Spanos’ boat has come and gone to return later and the day-trip boats should be along in a moment. There were three on Friday and all packed, which was good to see.

Symi Greece Simi
He’s happy

And as for me, I am just about to go and check the Kindle version of ‘Lonely House’ again while I wait for my editor to send up the final interior file for the book to go up to Amazon. Neil’s off to town to sort out some “work permit paperwork unnecessary admin and €3.00 tax for the honour of having a part time job and three hours lost to administration via three offices but it’s better than risking a fine”, and that’s about it for today.

Bit of a windfall that Greece could use

Images from Symi Greece by Neil Gosling and James Collins
Busy Yialos, Friday

Late start to the day, didn’t get up until 7.30, had a great weekend, and Neil had given me loads of photos for the blog so that’s all good news. First thoughts for a Monday morning? Well, it’s got to be the email inbox hasn’t it? Word for word, as written, Mrs DorisHamson writes:

Dearest in Christ,
I greet you in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ our Lord, I am Mrs DorisHamson (presumably she means Doris Hamson), from Kuwait I am married to Mr Robert Hamson who worked with Kuwaitembassy (no idea – think it’s like Marks & Spencer) in Ivory Coast for nine years before he died in the year 2012. (Read that again. She; still married ‘I am married to…’ and yet he died in 2012. Probably going a bit smelly by now love, I’d get over it and move on.) We were married for eleven years without a child. (She sounds like she is proud that they broke some kind of Ivory Coast record.) He died after a briefillness (“’twas ‘briefillness’ and the slivey toves did gyre and gimble…”) that lasted for only four days (Never mind, perhaps your next husband will linger longer in agony for your amusement). Before his death we were both bornagain Christian (just the one, clearly). Since his death I decided not to remarry or get a childoutside my matrimonial home which the Bible is against. (Your Bible is against your matrimonial home? That’s a bit strict isn’t it?)

Images from Symi Greece by Neil Gosling and James Collins
Bottom of the Kali Strata

Mrs DorisHamson then goes on to explain that she’s sitting on $5.2 million dollars and her doctor has told her she only has a few months and she’s shuffling of this mortal coil to go and join her HusbandMrHamon and she wants to use this money “toendeavour that the house of God is maintained.” Presumably that kind of house is allowed even though the Bible is against her kind of matrimonial house. It carries on to tell me all about Exodus (I saw the film) 14 Vs 14 and how she doesn’t need a phone call but when I email back she’ll hook me up with “the contact ofthe Bank in Abidjan Cote d’Ivoire West Africa” and that I mustn’t hang about because “Any delay in your replywill give me room in sourcing another church for this same purpose. Pleaseassure me that you will act accordingly as I Stated herein.”

Images from Symi Greece by Neil Gosling and James Collins
Jordana at ‘To Spitiko’

However, I didn’t reply straight away and thus, I assume, I have lost my PlaceAtTheTableOfTheLord and whoops! There goes my five million, ah well, ‘I shall not want’, and all that. The reason I got delayed in claiming my financial security and place at the right hand was because I had this note from a UK TV addict (and, I suspect, secret Daily Mail reader):

Images from Symi Greece by Neil Gosling and James Collins
Taverna Xaris is also popular

“Lots of discussion about Greece this weekend on TV news etc. Surveys of voters in Germany and France show people are getting fed up with the Greeks and basically want to get them out. The general feeling is that the Greeks are incompetent at running their country, for years they’ve been spending money they haven’t got and then they expect everyone to bail them out. Then they elect a government that simply doesn’t face up to the realities and won’t engage with the rest of Europe in a proper way. They won’t compromise or bargain and just insist they should be helped out without helping themselves. Lots of people on TV saying things like that.”

Images from Symi Greece by Neil Gosling and James Collins
Lunch time

So, all that has got my week off to a rather wobbly start. There will be more entertaining news as the week progresses, for example, how ‘Straight Swap’ is now up to 103,000 words and heading for the finale, and how ‘Lonely House’ should be available online at Amazon in a few days. Now then, let me compose a reply to MrsHamson.

Images from Symi Greece by Neil Gosling and James Collins
And later in the village

A Symi mystery novel?

Now here is a set of observations that you might like to spin into a mystery story. The things I saw and heard on Friday morning are worthy of an Anne Zouroudi novel.

Images from Symi Greece by Neil Gosling and James Collins
It starts with a sunrise

We were out for our morning walk/jog at six. It’s getting to the time where we will have to consider moving things back to 5.30, the sun is already up at six and things are starting to get hot. We headed up the road, past the doctor’s surgery outside of which is parked a motor bike and a hospital bed, with a rock where a pillow would be. (Could that be a clue?) On up the hill and there to turn off at the Agia Marina cemetery.

Images from Symi Greece by Neil Gosling and James Collins
An innocent sunrise

The greave diggers were at work. I didn’t stop to browse, but one guy was dragging the earth from a grave (it looked like) while the other was randomly spraying something from a canister into the hole. I am guessing here, but they were possibly freeing up the plot, moving the bones to the ossuary and getting this one ready for the next occupant. But, on up the hill, past the barking dog, towards To Vrisi.

Images from Symi Greece by Neil Gosling and James Collins
Or is it a sin-rise?

After passing the same goatherd for the third day in a row (on two different routes), we reached that day’s target and paused for some water while taking in the sunrise over the village and over Pedi, where there were a few boats in. And then back down the hill, at a slightly faster pace, with an eye on the old knees, and past the yapping dog (the goatherd had vanished) and past the gravediggers, one of whom had also disappeared, the other one was still raking away, and past the lady putting flowers on another grave. And from there onto the road and towards home.

Images from Symi Greece by Neil Gosling and James Collins
Has a crime been committed?

Okay, back to home and a shower and down to work at the desk with the window open, overlooking the way into Symi harbour. From up here I hear the island ambulance siren, a rare sound but an unmistakable one. A little later and I’m getting on quite nicely with a chapter when I am suddenly brought down to earth by the sound of the Blue Star blasting its horn, up close and a little too personal. That comes in and does its thing and then it starts to head out again. At this point there are death bells ringing somewhere, probably for a memorial service as they are being rung in the morning. But, it’s not impossible that it was a funeral, through very early in the day – they are usually later in the morning, I’ve noticed. And then the Blue Star blasts it horn several more times as it is leaving, which is very unusual.

Images from Symi Greece by Neil Gosling and James Collins
And what is the significance of the Blue Star smoke?

So, you have the hospital bed and the rock, the gravediggers, the missing goatherd, the lady in the cemetery, the ambulance siren, the death bells and the unusual behaviour of the ferry. Put it all together and what do you get? No, what do YOU get? I’m already working on a comedy and am close to finishing the first draft so don’t want to get put off track. I’ll leave it to you to make up the story for this one. And if you need more inspiration I suggest the Anne Zouroudi Greek Detective series from Bloomsbury. You can find all the titles listed here: Anne Zouroudi at Amazon.  Have a fun weekend working on your first mystery story!

Here are two more pics from Friday morning.

Images from Symi Greece by Neil Gosling and James Collins
To Vrisi, the walk destination
Images from Symi Greece by Neil Gosling and James Collins
And The Olive Tree (not implicated in the mystery) at dawn