All posts by James Collins

Grexit, boats and paperwork

Shouldn’t have taken the micky our of Mrs What’s’ername yesterday. The next time my Mailwasher went ‘ping’ I got another spam email. This time from myself apparently. I didn’t open it, it looked like a bill.

Images from Symi Greece by Neil Gosling and James Collins
Symi sponges

Now, you know I’m not one for news, but I am keeping an eye on what’s going to happen to Greece at the end of the month, the Grexit and Euro fiasco and all that. I don’t really have an opinion on it other than, ‘If you’re going to do something then get on with it! We’re all rather bored of the story now, we need a new twist.’ I mean, if this was a novel you’d have put it down long ago. Well, I would have. So, if I get wind of anything interesting from all of this that might possibly affect Symi, then I’ll let you know.

Images from Symi Greece by Neil Gosling and James Collins
Romantic times

I only mention this because my ‘Mister Enthusiastic For Dramatic Headlines’ back in the UK is sending me regular updates, as he sees them. He is a journalist, so he has this eye for the selling point, so the distillation of the UK reporting might be biased towards what would sell his paper, if he still worked on one. Example: it seems the Mail in Sunday has a ‘special’ reporter in Athens who can report from ground zero on the way the Greek National Health Service is starting to resemble parts of the British NHS. The wonderfully obtuse newspaper apparently reports that in Greece’s hospitals, “…babies are being held to ransom until bills are paid. Hospital porters [are] being sent out as paramedics. The headline is how people in Greece are literally dying to leave Europe.”

Images from Symi Greece by Neil Gosling and James Collins
Music with your meal?

And apparently life expectancy in Greece is now down by three years, so probably down to 96 then. But read all that with a pinch of snuff because it may be bad in one hospital in the poorer parts of the largest city in the country, but elsewhere? Well, come and see the excellent Rhodes hospital, or check into an IKA specialist for a free consultation, and I expect you’ll find a different story.

But enough seriousness; whatever you do, don’t let this kind of reporting, the (I wish they’d get a move on one way or the other) Grexit, my ramblings on subjects I know very little about, and the scandalous reporting of refugee, financial, health and other crises, put you off booking that ticket and getting on that plane. The water’s lovely, come on in, as they say.

Images from Symi Greece by Neil Gosling and James Collins
Up in the village

And meanwhile, back in the real world which is the view from the desk: The taxi boats are going out, the Poseidon’s long gone out (this is yesterday morning by the way), there are some super-yachts (that’s a matter of opinion) hanging about, plenty of those white ones you can hire and take out after only half an hour’s training (gulp!), and some Turkish gullets nosing in. The ‘Spanos’ boat has come and gone to return later and the day-trip boats should be along in a moment. There were three on Friday and all packed, which was good to see.

Symi Greece Simi
He’s happy

And as for me, I am just about to go and check the Kindle version of ‘Lonely House’ again while I wait for my editor to send up the final interior file for the book to go up to Amazon. Neil’s off to town to sort out some “work permit paperwork unnecessary admin and €3.00 tax for the honour of having a part time job and three hours lost to administration via three offices but it’s better than risking a fine”, and that’s about it for today.

Bit of a windfall that Greece could use

Images from Symi Greece by Neil Gosling and James Collins
Busy Yialos, Friday

Late start to the day, didn’t get up until 7.30, had a great weekend, and Neil had given me loads of photos for the blog so that’s all good news. First thoughts for a Monday morning? Well, it’s got to be the email inbox hasn’t it? Word for word, as written, Mrs DorisHamson writes:

Dearest in Christ,
I greet you in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ our Lord, I am Mrs DorisHamson (presumably she means Doris Hamson), from Kuwait I am married to Mr Robert Hamson who worked with Kuwaitembassy (no idea – think it’s like Marks & Spencer) in Ivory Coast for nine years before he died in the year 2012. (Read that again. She; still married ‘I am married to…’ and yet he died in 2012. Probably going a bit smelly by now love, I’d get over it and move on.) We were married for eleven years without a child. (She sounds like she is proud that they broke some kind of Ivory Coast record.) He died after a briefillness (“’twas ‘briefillness’ and the slivey toves did gyre and gimble…”) that lasted for only four days (Never mind, perhaps your next husband will linger longer in agony for your amusement). Before his death we were both bornagain Christian (just the one, clearly). Since his death I decided not to remarry or get a childoutside my matrimonial home which the Bible is against. (Your Bible is against your matrimonial home? That’s a bit strict isn’t it?)

Images from Symi Greece by Neil Gosling and James Collins
Bottom of the Kali Strata

Mrs DorisHamson then goes on to explain that she’s sitting on $5.2 million dollars and her doctor has told her she only has a few months and she’s shuffling of this mortal coil to go and join her HusbandMrHamon and she wants to use this money “toendeavour that the house of God is maintained.” Presumably that kind of house is allowed even though the Bible is against her kind of matrimonial house. It carries on to tell me all about Exodus (I saw the film) 14 Vs 14 and how she doesn’t need a phone call but when I email back she’ll hook me up with “the contact ofthe Bank in Abidjan Cote d’Ivoire West Africa” and that I mustn’t hang about because “Any delay in your replywill give me room in sourcing another church for this same purpose. Pleaseassure me that you will act accordingly as I Stated herein.”

Images from Symi Greece by Neil Gosling and James Collins
Jordana at ‘To Spitiko’

However, I didn’t reply straight away and thus, I assume, I have lost my PlaceAtTheTableOfTheLord and whoops! There goes my five million, ah well, ‘I shall not want’, and all that. The reason I got delayed in claiming my financial security and place at the right hand was because I had this note from a UK TV addict (and, I suspect, secret Daily Mail reader):

Images from Symi Greece by Neil Gosling and James Collins
Taverna Xaris is also popular

“Lots of discussion about Greece this weekend on TV news etc. Surveys of voters in Germany and France show people are getting fed up with the Greeks and basically want to get them out. The general feeling is that the Greeks are incompetent at running their country, for years they’ve been spending money they haven’t got and then they expect everyone to bail them out. Then they elect a government that simply doesn’t face up to the realities and won’t engage with the rest of Europe in a proper way. They won’t compromise or bargain and just insist they should be helped out without helping themselves. Lots of people on TV saying things like that.”

Images from Symi Greece by Neil Gosling and James Collins
Lunch time

So, all that has got my week off to a rather wobbly start. There will be more entertaining news as the week progresses, for example, how ‘Straight Swap’ is now up to 103,000 words and heading for the finale, and how ‘Lonely House’ should be available online at Amazon in a few days. Now then, let me compose a reply to MrsHamson.

Images from Symi Greece by Neil Gosling and James Collins
And later in the village

A Symi mystery novel?

Now here is a set of observations that you might like to spin into a mystery story. The things I saw and heard on Friday morning are worthy of an Anne Zouroudi novel.

Images from Symi Greece by Neil Gosling and James Collins
It starts with a sunrise

We were out for our morning walk/jog at six. It’s getting to the time where we will have to consider moving things back to 5.30, the sun is already up at six and things are starting to get hot. We headed up the road, past the doctor’s surgery outside of which is parked a motor bike and a hospital bed, with a rock where a pillow would be. (Could that be a clue?) On up the hill and there to turn off at the Agia Marina cemetery.

Images from Symi Greece by Neil Gosling and James Collins
An innocent sunrise

The greave diggers were at work. I didn’t stop to browse, but one guy was dragging the earth from a grave (it looked like) while the other was randomly spraying something from a canister into the hole. I am guessing here, but they were possibly freeing up the plot, moving the bones to the ossuary and getting this one ready for the next occupant. But, on up the hill, past the barking dog, towards To Vrisi.

Images from Symi Greece by Neil Gosling and James Collins
Or is it a sin-rise?

After passing the same goatherd for the third day in a row (on two different routes), we reached that day’s target and paused for some water while taking in the sunrise over the village and over Pedi, where there were a few boats in. And then back down the hill, at a slightly faster pace, with an eye on the old knees, and past the yapping dog (the goatherd had vanished) and past the gravediggers, one of whom had also disappeared, the other one was still raking away, and past the lady putting flowers on another grave. And from there onto the road and towards home.

Images from Symi Greece by Neil Gosling and James Collins
Has a crime been committed?

Okay, back to home and a shower and down to work at the desk with the window open, overlooking the way into Symi harbour. From up here I hear the island ambulance siren, a rare sound but an unmistakable one. A little later and I’m getting on quite nicely with a chapter when I am suddenly brought down to earth by the sound of the Blue Star blasting its horn, up close and a little too personal. That comes in and does its thing and then it starts to head out again. At this point there are death bells ringing somewhere, probably for a memorial service as they are being rung in the morning. But, it’s not impossible that it was a funeral, through very early in the day – they are usually later in the morning, I’ve noticed. And then the Blue Star blasts it horn several more times as it is leaving, which is very unusual.

Images from Symi Greece by Neil Gosling and James Collins
And what is the significance of the Blue Star smoke?

So, you have the hospital bed and the rock, the gravediggers, the missing goatherd, the lady in the cemetery, the ambulance siren, the death bells and the unusual behaviour of the ferry. Put it all together and what do you get? No, what do YOU get? I’m already working on a comedy and am close to finishing the first draft so don’t want to get put off track. I’ll leave it to you to make up the story for this one. And if you need more inspiration I suggest the Anne Zouroudi Greek Detective series from Bloomsbury. You can find all the titles listed here: Anne Zouroudi at Amazon.  Have a fun weekend working on your first mystery story!

Here are two more pics from Friday morning.

Images from Symi Greece by Neil Gosling and James Collins
To Vrisi, the walk destination
Images from Symi Greece by Neil Gosling and James Collins
And The Olive Tree (not implicated in the mystery) at dawn

Symi boats

Images from Symi Greece by Neil Gosling and James Collins
Blue Star Diagoras on its way

Wednesday is a busy day for Symi as far as boats are concerned. First of all the Skiadeni goes out at 6.30 to reach Rhodes at 8.00, and the Blue Star Diagoras usually comes in around 7.30 – ish, though this Wednesday it arrived at midday.

The Dodecanese Express comes in at 9.20 and heads ‘up the line’ to Agathonisi and back, calling back here in the afternoon. Then the day boats come in at some point, usually the Symi Sea Dreams and the Nikolaos X, and then the Panagia Skiadeni coming back from Rhodes via Panormitis; all bringing day trippers with them.

Images from Symi Greece by Neil Gosling and James Collins
Blue Star Diagoras coming in

While all this is going on we have the pleasure boats, the gin palaces, the yachts and the fishing boats going in and out too. And then at around 4.30 in the afternoon we get the traffic jams as the Skiadeni heads off to Rhodes again, the Blue Star comes back in from Rhodes and the Cruise ship calls in and tries to dock, all at the same time. At least, that’s how it was last year, this year I notice that someone has thought to stagger things by a few minutes so there’s not the same blasting of horns and jostling for position in the queue.

Images from Symi Greece by Neil Gosling and James Collins
Cruise ship coming in, Diagoras leaving…

The things you see from a balcony eh? And talking of things you see…

steno music
Music at Steno, photo by Allan Robinson

 

Here’s a photo from Allan, here on holiday. It was taken at Steno, the kafeneion down in Yialos that is fast getting a reputation for its hospitality. Extreme mezethes are included in your drinks order, it seems, and so is live music and even dancing, especially in the evenings. When you’re in Yialos it’s down the lane that leads to St John’s church. Just ask and ye shall find. Sounds like a good night out.

Images from Symi Greece by Neil Gosling and James Collins
Cloud on the mountain, Thursday morning

Not that I have been having nights out, nothing past 10.00 pm, not recently. What with alarms and cats and sometimes both going off at 5.30 or 5.45 and then going out for a fast walk up a long slow hill, followed by a slow jog down the same hill, and a morning of typing, I’m physically and mentally done in come lunchtime. But, siesta or no, I am then back into more writing or proofing or house cleaning or table painting, and then stop at 4.30-ish for a glass before, salad, film and sleep. A great routine and I am not complaining!

So, I’ll leave you with some same old sunrise shots and go and see what housework still needs doing – I’ve been listening to Neil pottering around with buckets and brooms so I am hoping I’ve delayed long enough…

Images from Symi Greece by Neil Gosling and James Collins
Thursday sunrise

Lonely House is nearly ready

Images from Symi Greece by Neil Gosling and James Collins
Evening light on the entrance to Yialos

Three things arrived in the post yesterday one of which carried a bonus. One was the Instrumental Works by my favourite artists The Alan Parsons Project  which I’d been after for a while. That’s going to be on the CD player later. (Note: get a CD player – we’re using a DVD machine at the moment and you can’t see the display.)

Images from Symi Greece by Neil Gosling and James Collins
Charter cruise boat in the harbour, Tuesday evening

The second thing to arrive was the proof copy of ‘Lonely House.’ I’ve already been through the text on Kindle and made notes of a few final tweaks, but now I need to compare those notes to the book, find the exact page and paragraph and then send that to the editor to deal with. Then, when a new PDF comes back in a few days, I should be able to make the book Live on Amazon and then on Kindle too. So, some work to do on that lies ahead.

Which puts me back a few days on ‘Straight Swap’ as I am now reaching the crisis point of that story where everything has to start to unfold and iron out. We are one day before the live TV broadcast of ‘So you think we’re remotely interested?’ the nation’s newest virtually heightened reality TV talent show streaming live each week from a different provincial theatre. (A long title that is cut down to ‘Remotely’ for ease.) This week sees the finale from Middlestone-on-sea down on the Kent coast where the whole thing hangs on the appearance of two ex-best friends who have, magically, swapped bodies and who, for the last three years, have not even spoken to each other. Many more plot lines are also gathering to come home to roost in the final 30,000 words or so. But first I have two big scenes to write down, and my aim was to get them done by Sunday.

Images from Symi Greece by Neil Gosling and James Collins
Tuesday morning sunrise

Meanwhile, the outside table has just had another coat of paint and now looks even more shiny and blue/green. It should be perfect for the BBQ we are having on Saturday. Meanwhile, meanwhile, Neil and I went up to To Vrisi again yesterday morning, with pictures today to show for it, including the traffic jam encountered en route. After that unnecessary exercise, Neil high tailed it down to his aerobics class while I went to work.

Images from Symi Greece by Neil Gosling and James Collins
Bit of a traffic jam

And when he came back he brought the third thing to arrive in the post, another Alan Parsons Project CD to add to the collection, and this one is called ‘Edgar Allen Poe’, a musical by Eric Woolfson. And this was the bonus: A guy called David Burt also sings on this. I saw him in loads of shows in the West End and thought he had a great voice. So I am really looking forward to hearing this CD, something I will probably do later today. I need to get on with ‘Lonely House’ first though as I know everyone is waiting for a bit of thriller/horror to read.

Images from Symi Greece by Neil Gosling and James Collins
High on a hill…

By the way, I don’t only read and write horror and listen to musicals based on probably the best ‘horror’ writer of our time, I do also like nice things. Only the other night I watched a film about a shark on the rampage in an Australian shopping centre. And that was followed by one about a group of people trying to protect their tower block from aliens. All perfectly rational and ‘every day.’

Images from Symi Greece by Neil Gosling and James Collins
Village in the early morning