All posts by James Collins

Working ramble

Working ramble
I had a good online session with editor on Monday and another is booked in for today. This is the process of going through the layout of ‘Remotely’ and tidying up a few things: making sure the quotes at the start of each chapter are consistent in their layout, making sure the ‘widows and orphans’ are tidied up so we are not left with an odd word at the start of a page, and things like that. We have done 20 out of the 50 or so chapters and aim to do another 20 later today. It’s an interesting process: I am watching his desktop screen from over here (he is in Britain) so I can see what he changes as he changes it. It’s a bit frustrating for me as I keep trying to click on things and of course, although I can see my pointer, it doesn’t actually do anything to the pages.

Live editing across Europe
Live editing across Europe

Meanwhile, life on Symi goes on, though it’s quieter than of late. This is the time of year that many Greek and Italian people come on holiday but we are seeing far fewer this year, doubtless due to the economic situation, the severity of Greek cut-backs and… well I don’t know anything about Italy, but I am sure they have their reasons. Roll on September when more northern European, British and Scandinavian visitors particularly, come to Symi to soak up the sun and enjoy the beauty of the island.

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That’s meant to be the moon

I found a few photos from our evening out, which I have put up today. The moon was up as we waited for a taxi, but my camera is not very good at night shots of the moon, it is, after all, an underwater camera. I think it’s been in the sea twice in its life as I am not really an underwater person, I don’t think I’ve been in the sea since 2014, apart from one paddle earlier this year.

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Shopping in Yialos

There are also some shots of shops at night, which may look empty, but I was careful not to snap innocent passers-by as not everyone likes to have their image put up on blogs. The shops stay open late into the evening in most cases. I know when I worked for Takis he was always there before eight in the morning and not often closed until after 11 at night. (And some people think the Greeks are lazy!) It’s very common for people at this time of year to work long hours, fifteen or more a day at times. Up in the village, Noufris is at work at Georgio’s early in the morning, has an hour off in the afternoon and is then back again until sometimes well after midnight. Yiannis does the same at the bar. We went out on the Poseidon the other evening and the guys there start early to prepare the boat, make the lunches, and then set off at 10.30 and work through until at least seven in the evening, and then often go out again for an evening booking until midnight.

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Shops are open late

So, don’t let anyone tell you that folk around here don’t work long hours. I start at 6.15, break for lunch at around 12.30 and often get back to the desk again until four or five, which by local standards is part time. You might also be fooled by seeing some men sitting with a drink at 10.30 in the morning and staying at the bar until the afternoon. That’s because they’ve been up since one and working on their fishing boats. Same with the bakers who work through the night and often have their bakeries open in the evenings too.

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Live music in Georgio’s at the weekend

Anyway, that’s my little ramble for today. I have some writing to do now so I will get on with that; the devil makes hands for idle workers, or whatever the expression is. Have a good day and enjoy the photos.

So You Think We’re Remotely Interested?

So You Think We’re Remotely Interested?
Or, ‘Straight Swap’ as the original, working title of my next book was. It’s now titled ‘Remotely’ and the editor has just finished going through it. Now there is a little layout work to do that has something to do with slaughtering widows and orphans (a publishing term) and then it should be on the virtual shelves within a few weeks. I will keep you posted on my posts here.

Remotely. Out soon
Remotely. Out soon

The book will be available at Amazon around the world and there will be a Kindle version probably a few weeks after the print version as Kindles have different layout things to take into consideration. The cover illustration, by the way, was created by the very talented Clive Wakfer and, to give you an idea of the story, the back blurb of the books reads:

“Britain’s newest and most pointless TV talent competition is coming to Middlestone-On-Sea. ‘So You Think We’re Remotely Interested?‘ has taken Friday night viewers by storm as it streams live variety shows from remote, provincial theatres across Britain. The theatre with the most audience votes wins regeneration and revival, and lord knows, Middlestone needs both.

The dying seaside backwater rests its hopes on the performance of two ex-best friends, gay Gary and straight Stag.

The visiting celebrity judge, the mysterious and timeless Miss P, knows that for all to be well, they must mend their broken friendship. But there is no success without trial. She magically swaps Gary and Stag into each other’s bodies. Secrets are learned, comedy ensues, and yet the community remains divided.

Rifts must be healed, differences accepted, and bodies swapped back before the season grand finale in four days’ time.”

Now then, to give you a rough idea of what you are letting yourself in for when you buy a copy (I will publish links in due course), you may want to read the first chapter. So, if you follow the link at the bottom of this post, you should open a PDF document. Each chapter starts with a quote and there are only two genuine quotes used (the others are made up by me), the one you can read in this chapter and one later on in the book.

You WIsh, James CollinsAnd, if you were wondering about the style, you can get used to what’s about to hit you between the eyes by reading my ‘You Wish!’ which is a similar style, but, I have to say, is a bit rougher than ‘Remotely’ which my editor describes as my best work to date, bless. ‘You Wish!’ Was written a long time ago and is nicely, camply, over the top (and unedited, it’s an ‘early work’). ‘Remotely’ has taken about two years to put together and is a longer book. A magazine in the UK described ‘You Wish!’ as “Perfect poolside reading.” And I would say ‘Remotely’ will be the same.

Anyway, click the link and check out chapter one, it’s a short one, it won’t keep you for long.

‘Remotely’

You Wish!’ Available here in print and kindle

 

 

 

Saturday night Symi

Saturday night Symi
I was hoping for a lie in on Sunday as we’d been out quite late on Saturday, but the cat had other ideas. So I thought I would use this unusual time of morning (6.45) on a Sunday to prepare a blog post for today and then take the rest of the day to myself to work on a book or something. Actually, it wasn’t that late a night by some standards, we got home just after midnight; there are some (no names mentioned) who think nothing of heading home in the dawn-light after a good night out on Symi – and when you’re on holiday, why not? Or even when you’re not on holiday, why not?

Saturday night Symi
Trying to hide

Anyway, we’d been down to Yialos with the godsons as one of them has just turned 13, so it was our treat for a night out in the big city. This involved a walk around the harbour so we could watch the big super-yachts come in. The Vava I and II were both in; apparently they are owned by Ernesto Bertarelli, an Italian-born, Swiss businessman And philanthropist. Very impressive boats and it was good to see the harbour busy with many other boats, especially at the west end.

Saturday night Symi
Vava I and Vava II in Symi on Saturday

After present buying (new Croc flip-flops) Dinner was at the Dolphin Restaurant, otherwise known as Vasilis and Rachael’s pizzeria by the bridge. This is a good place to watch the world go by and also, when there is something on the festival stage in the town square, it’s a good place to sit and listen, or even watch. I’ve seen shows from a table there with a better view than if I had been in the audience. It’s also worth going for the food, of course! Pizzas, pasta, salads and all homemade, you can see Vasilis in the kitchen throwing the dough around. The prices are good: Three pizzas (two of them large, and here large means large!), one large garlic bread (like a pizza), a salmon pasta, one litre of wine, water and two soft drinks for under €58.00 – that’s a dinner for four, by the way, not just me.

Saturday night Symi
Ice-cream time

After that there was an insistence for ice-cream so we wandered over to the ice-cream and cake shop in post office square. (I did see the name on the street plaque but I can never remember it.) Here you have ice-cream by the scoop and if you ask for a small one they think you are joking and you end up with a large one anyway, for the same price as a small one. Again, the prices are good, three large tubs for €6.00 and it’s nice ice-cream. Someone had a double with cookie-dough and peanut (and it did taste like peanuts), someone else had chocolate with hazelnut and I went for a simple vanilla with chocolate chips in it.

Saturday night Symi
In flight entertainment

After that, we admired the taxi rank for 25 minutes and then went to catch the bus. There are only a few taxis on the island of course, and things do get busy at the site of year. But here’s a tip. If you are waiting for a taxi, wait in the taxi parking area, where there’s a shelter and where everyone can see you are waiting. Don’t sit on the quayside opposite and then expect everyone to believe you’ve been waiting for a taxi and were first in the queue – everyone will assume you’re making it up and you won’t get yourself a good reputation. Worse, you might get a mouthful of malakarisms – especially at night; how does anyone know you’re waiting for a cab, and not just sitting over there for the fun of it? Anyway, the bus was busy but we were able to watch the new television and the advertising display on the way up; a kind of Symi in-flight movie.

Saturday night Symi
Dusk in the harbour

And so to the square for one on the way home, chat with friends, the boys off to their home after another drink and a play in the square and the end of a lovely evening. Knackered to bed at 12.30 and the Alarm Cat setting itself off at 5.45. Lovely.

On my shopping list today…

On my shopping list today…
I’m heading out to do some shopping in a moment as we have guests coming for dinner tonight (Friday). Included on my list are: candles, cheese and rat poison.

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Hardly a threat to anything

Unwanted guests? Yes, kind of, but not those who are coming to dinner tonight, the rat poison is not for them (nor is it for Jack, who stars in our photos today). Actually, I probably won’t buy poison as it’s not a nice way to kill rats and, although they say otherwise, it’s not very good for cats if they get hold of it, though there are some which apparently are not harmful to cats. I’m not sure what to do about our little visitor(s) though, but I think I might have to invest in a trap of some sort. I actually quite like rats but I don’t want to share the house with them. How do I know we have a rat? Well, I’m not a great expert on droppings but a quick Google of ‘Rat poo’ led to some images which showed the same things as I’ve found in the laundry room and bathroom over these past couple of days. So, thinking about this logically:

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Waiting for his favourite TV show

I am assuming that they are coming from the ruin and land opposite the house. The vine has grown and stretches over the road to the land/house opposite. This seems to me the easiest access route. The alternatives would be to scale some pretty high walls or abseil down from above; and I wouldn’t put it past them to do this. The drains are all covered, there’s no signs of through-the-wall entry and the biggest clue is that the laundry room door is always left open. This is going to be my first elimination. We leave the door open so that cat has somewhere to shelter in the winter and it just gets left open all year round, though at this time of year, he’s usually outside or on the roof overnight, so we can close that and then be on poo watch for a few days/nights to see if anything shows up. If it does then they are getting into that part of the house some other way. If it stops, then we know what to do. They will get bored and go somewhere else, I hope.

The second stage is to find some way to trap them and the third is to get the dreaded poison and be done with it, maybe putting it down at night and making sure it’s in a place where the cat can’t reach it, not that he did when we had mice in the old house. The Alarm Cat, as you may know, only eats finest quality, highly-expensive processed things in packets with names such as, ‘Dubious-Delicious’, ‘Once was Dog’ and ‘No Idea in Don’t-Ask Jelly.’ He loves them and won’t eat anything else. Unless it’s a giros from George up the road, which he is very partial to.

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Does this look like a ratter cat to you?

Okay, a couple of notes on the above. You would have noticed we have a cat and you’ve been wondering why the cat doesn’t do anything about the rat(s). Well, if you’d met the AC you would know how agile and enthusiastic he is; he runs away from spiders and enthusiastically ignores all other creatures, unless they come in vacuum packed sachets with an image of a contented feline on the front and are called ‘Have You Guessed What It Was Yet? Meat Treats For Cats.‘ Jack’s no good as a guard cat.

And the other note, which makes me more inclined to leave the rat(s) alone and hope they go away is that at least they do their business in the bathroom. Not only that, but they do it in the WC bowl – I kid you not. I assume they are on the lookout for water as the part of the house they are using as a hotel contains no food, we don’t live in it (it’s my office) and the only parts they can access is the laundry with a sink and a washing machine, and the bathroom. Now if they would only flush after them and use the little bin provided I’d be a lot more inclined to let them live. Don’t worry, they won’t be around for long – the Symi spider that wandered in off the balcony the other day will soon see to that, while the Alarm Cat watches from a safe distance.

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Public safety cat

Early morning for a change

Early morning for a change

(I’m still half asleep and haven’t checked for typos – enjoy) This is the kind of thing I see when I sit down at the desk first thing in the morning. It’s only 6.15 and I am thinking about putting the fan on already.

Symi Greece
Very early morning

And these are the kinds of things I think when I write the blog first thing rather than the day before: We had a bit of a semi-successful day yesterday. We’re still on the trial of getting the bank card reissued and still trying to track down some acceptable proof of address. The bank here were very helpful but the address used there is simply: Name and Symi – which is to the point and accurate but not good enough for the other bank who insist it can’t be ‘Number, Post office’ (which is annoying as that is our address) and it can’t be in Greek, which is also annoying as that’s the address on the phone bill, the only utility bill with our name on it – the name is in Latin characters but the address is not.

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Early morning

Anyway… we did enquire at the bank about how to update the address on their records and were given a leaflet that lists all the things you will need in order to prove who you are, so they can then change the address – so then we can get a statement with that address on it and then send that to the overseas card company who may then accept it as long as it’s not in anything but Latin characters. Not everyone has an address such as: 37 Acacia Avenge, Little-Snoozing, BTW RUmad, Little England etc. etc.

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A bit later (on Wednesday)

Anyway, I checked back and found that the card company had previously accepted a bank statement from the UK, as proof of address so Neil rang that bank up and they said they would send him a recent statement, even though he hasn’t used that account for years and we thought it had been closed. The address written on that is ‘The Symi Post Office…. Etc.’ but they (the card company) accepted that last time, so hopefully they will do so again.

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And just after that

Oh, but I said that yesterday was semi-successful, what was the successful part? Well, we went to see the accountant to make sure our tax returns had been done, and they have, and Neil’s entitled to some money back from the Greek tax office! At least that was some kind cause for celebration, once we’d picked ourselves up off the floor.

Anyway, it’s now 6.27 (I’m not used to writing these in the morning) so I’m off to get on, as it were.