All posts by James Collins

The fall of the machine

The fall of the machine

Picture it: I’m sitting on the sofa reading a very entertaining book about Andrew Lloyd Webber (don’t ask) when all of a sudden I become aware that a heavy truck is passing by the house. ‘Must be a concert mixer lorry,’ I think. A little while later I realise that the road outside our house is too narrow for such a vehicle. ‘Must be Lefteris and his dumper truck.’ I consider this idea as it’s more entertaining the Lord Lloyd Webber, and then wonder why Lefteris has stopped his truck right outside our door and isn’t moving on. ‘Perhaps he is delivering something over the road,’ I think. After a few minutes, I come to realise that the sound is actually coming from within the house and I pop into the laundry room to see where the earth trembling noise is coming from.

Windy weather
Windy weather

I find Neil there, interrupted from his revision by the sound. We both look at the washing machine and then shout across to each other, ‘It’s the washing machine!’

‘What?’

‘I said…’

But we leave it alone as it’s not actually smoking or steaming or moving around the room, but it is being worryingly loud. I realise later that we have just witnessed its final final rinse and spin. Something’s gone for good, and €300.00 worth of machine is finally cycling itself off to washing machine heaven. Mind you, it was 13 years old, so you can’t complain. It had a good run, and it was a Greek make Pitsos, so bravo to them for building such a reliable home appliance.

Windy weather
Windy weather

This meant that we then had to buy another one and, with some advice from the lady who knows about such things, Jenine Olive Tree, I ordered one from the Greek equivalent of Dixons, online, for €250.00. That miffed her a bit as she only recently bought exactly the same model for a little bit more; ours was now in a sale and also comes with free delivery. When that will be is another matter and, in the meantime, there’s the old one to get rid of. An email to the Dimos will let me know how this should be done, we’re not going down the ‘dump it over a cliff’ route. Meanwhile, there’s still the washing to do.

Day trippers and visitors
Day trippers and visitors

Which is how I found myself at the laundry sink on a blowy Thursday morning. Luckily, mother had left some handy hand wash behind when she left last year, so I was able to use that. There’s something very therapeutic about manually washing t-shirts and under-things; it gives you time to think. Mind you, I did have ‘Welcome to the Machine’ going around in my head like a tumble dryer for half an hour as I washed and wrung, agitated clothes (by talking about Brexit), rinsed and wrung again, and hung out the essentials. The pile went down quite quickly until Neil came home from his aerobics and gym session and dumped his gym clothes on it. There’s still a lot to do, but plenty of time as we’re not expecting the new machine for a couple of weeks.

Day trippers and visitors
Day trippers and visitors

Meanwhile (again), the wind was up, and the sea was choppy, choppier than it looks in the quick snaps I took for today’s blog, so the washing has to dry inside. Poor old Jack is weathering the warm wind, though, and has taken up his usual place on his bench outside in the courtyard. He was sick overnight on Wednesday and had also cut his ear again, so he wasn’t in the best of moods. I’ve seen him drinking lots of water and eating only a little, so at least he’s doing that. We’re keeping an eye on him as we eagerly await the outcome of my first hand wash in 14 years. Will it be scented with the aroma of spring flowers from an Alpine valley? Or will it smell like it did when it went in the bowl? Oh, I can’t wait.

By the way, there’s a post coming up tomorrow, for the weekend, about the work of one of the charities that’s currently operating to help refugees and others on Symi, and other islands. Make sure you tune in to check it out.

The Times, 1963 and today

The Times, 1963 and today

Just a quick ramble as I’ve been distracted by a newspaper. No, nothing to do with the shenanigans of the UK ruling leader, though I did just overhear the interviewer on the BBC ask a Tory, ‘Why can’t you just be honest?’ And that made me cheer her on – the interviewer I mean. No, the newspaper is a birthday present from Neil, a copy of The Times from my day of birth back in 19-something. What amazed me about this was the amount of type and thus typesetting that must have been done for each day’s publication. There are some photos later on, but the front looks like the old fashioned papers you see in period dramas, all small print on the front which announcements of birth, deaths and marriages. (Didn’t see my birth there.)

Symi flowers
Symi flowers

What also got me hooked was on page three and no, this is The Times 1963, so it’s not that kind of page three, but the headline of a story: ‘Woman attacked by grey squirrel.‘ If that was a headline now, I am pretty sure someone in the current Westminster administration would immediately ban grey squirrels on health and safety grounds. Meanwhile, other parties would call for them to be barred from entering the country, others would rise up to protect them (but not actually say so for fear of losing their seats in the House) while a certain party leader would say that he was going to make sure they got equal pay, decent housing, and were to be nationalised, as that’s what people want to hear today. Over the water, a certain American maniac with a personality disorder would grab hold of the animal, realise it wasn’t a defenceless woman, let it go and deny having ever touched it. Further south, someone would shoot a ballistic missile at the poor creature and go back to greasing his hair.

Symi planting
Symi planting

Honestly, I despair of politicians these days, more so than ever, so I am trying to train myself to have nothing to do with it all – apart from voting in this election that she promised was never going to happen (until it suited Ms Mayhem), via my postal vote, and local mayoral elections here on Symi, as I can, plus the European Parliament ones when they happen. Meanwhile, I’m going to go back to the kitchen, stir the vegetable curry I am making, and read on to page four of The Times before copying out its crossword, so I don’t have to write on the paper, and I can say that I have completed The Times crossword from the day of my birth.

Rural Symi
Rural Symi

That’s it. I’ll let you get on now – hope you enjoyed the random photos today.

Holidays have started
Holidays have started

Heaven by Anne Butler Rowlands

Heaven by Anne Butler Rowlands

In a minute I want to tell you about a new book, written by a friend of mine, but first: There’s a great sense of calm now that Easter had finished. Mind you, I did hear a couple more dynamite explosions on Tuesday morning. I woke up thinking it was Wednesday and wondered why the Blue Star had not been in. I also wondered if I should put the water on to top up the sterna, and then I remembered it was Tuesday. That’s what long weekends do to you, I guess.

Easter cooking, don;t ask about the hat.
Easter cooking, don’t ask about the hat.

The fridge is still teaming with leftovers and a couple of non-eaten puddings, some biscuits from Katarina and some other goodies brought by friends, or given as presents. The rest of my olive bread went to the bar with Neil on Monday and was seen to by people there, we still have half a cheesecake to think about, and the last of the lamb stew should do for today. After that, it’s back to the usual routine and less cooking. We did quite well on Easter Sunday with bread, cheesecake, chocolate mousse, angel cakes and a full roast. We had lunch at around two, and I didn’t need to eat again until Monday lunchtime. There are still chocolates and a few Kinder eggs to get through. Anyway…

Olive bread
Olive bread

And now, the book  ‘Heaven’, by regular Symi visitor Anne Butler Rowlands.

 'Heaven', by regular Symi visitor Anne Butler Rowlands.
‘Heaven’, by regular Symi visitor Anne Butler Rowlands.

‘Heaven’, by Anne Butler Rowlands is described as: “‘Kapotheni’ has transformed itself from a ruined island into a playground for tourists. These eighteen linked stories highlight the funny, the tragic, the sinister, and the erotic aspects of the lives of the increasing crowds of middle-aged travellers and settlers, as they encounter the culture of a small Aegean community. In an exploration of the ways in which affection, love and lust forge links between diverse people, the light and dark aspects of sexuality thread through these stories, behind which lies the island, where the local community welcomes in the exhausted, the disillusioned, the sad and the lonely, giving warmth and hope to those who take the risk of meeting the new and the strange.”

And, described by me on the back cover as: “‘An idyllic island, glittering seas, blue skies, devious deeds…the stories are told with heart-piercing truth. Each one is a star in a deliciously dark firmament. Heaven is not just for the righteous.’ James Collins author of Remotely and The Judas Inheritance.”

And why am I pointing this out? Well, it won’t take a great leap to work out where ‘Kapotheni’ actually is. Regular visitors to Symi might even recognise some places, and possibly even some of the local characters. I’m not going to say too much more right now, but if you want to add another Symi inspired book to your collection, then click here for the Kindle or print version of ‘Heaven’, by regular Symi visitor Anne Butler Rowlands.

Easter
Easter

Back to the blog

Back to the blog

And we’re back to normal, or what constitutes normal around here. Easter has come and gone, and so have my few days off. It’s actually Monday today, as I’m writing, so I am back to getting blog posts ready the day before I publish them; back into the old routine. I’ve got a few photos I took over the weekend, Saturday in Yialos, the calm sea on two mornings, one misty one clearer, lots of food and some fireworks on Sunday (those photos coming soon).

Symi Easter photos
A calm start to the weekend

I managed to sleep through the Saturday night celebrations and dynamite, there was quite a lot of it apparently. I heard the bangs on Sunday night, right up until around half two in the morning, as I couldn’t sleep. Maybe too much chocolate mousse. There was a great firework display from the Town Hall on Sunday, plus their annual roast in the square and along the harbour. On Saturday, there were at least two day-boats in, if not more, and plenty of visitors and locals out enjoying the good weather and the Easter celebrations. The Blue Star made a trip to Kastalorizo for the weekend, and I know some Symi folk want on that, and the Panagia Skiadeni, now back to its Rhodes-Panormitis-Symi runs, was here as well.

Symi Easter photos
A misty morning

I’ll ease you back into my day to day blogging with a few more photos and then go and enjoy the rest of my bank holiday, during which I also have to find us a new washing machine and some outdoor furniture. Now then, where did I leave that catalogue…

Symi Easter photos
Neil was busy at work
Symi Easter photos
Busy at Trata
Symi Easter photos
The new kiosk-shop opposite the end of the bridge.
Symi Easter photos
One of Saturday’s boats from Rhodes
Symi Easter photos
Plenty of fresh veg

Happy Easter from Symi Dream

Happy Easter from Symi Dream

Here’s wishing you a Happy Easter, if you celebrate it, or if you simply find yourself with some holiday time. I’m going to leave the blog for a few days and put my feet up, I’ll be back early next week.

Meanwhile, here are a few recent photos to keep you going and, if you’re short of something to read, then here are some ideas for you. To start you off, my novel, ‘Jason and the Sargonauts’ will be free on Amazon Kindle over the weekend. The link is below. Here’s the release:

Jason and the Sargonauts

Symi Dream images‘Jason and the Sargonauts‘ will be free on Kindle over the Easter period – from April 14th for five days only.

Set on the Greek island of Symi, the story concerns a holiday rep, Jason, and his group of guests on their SARGO holiday. To keep his job, and stay on the island he loves so much, Jason must invent an excursion and sell it – and he must do it now. His grandmother, one of his guests, gives him an heirloom left to him by his grandfather who was on Symi during WWII. Inside, they find a musical treasure map that will lead them to ‘The Golden Fleece.’ But others have got wind of this and soon an old family feud is revived as Jason sets off, with his assortment of elderly guests, to track down the Fleece and unlock the mystery.

“This is Dan Brown meets Whitehall Farce with a bit of education about Symi’s history thrown in for good measure. Set on the Greek island of Symi, it’s a fast-paced whodunit with lots of laughs and loads of page turning moments. Yes, it was hard to put down.

This book deserves a large audience and stands up there with the best novels about contemporary Greece.”

‘Jason’ on Amazon: https://goo.gl/fE13Q7

Remotely

Remotely

If you’re up for some comedy, then ‘Remotely; may appeal; to you. Here’s the blurb and the link.

Remotely‘ is a gay/straight body-swap comedy that pokes fun at British reality television.

Britain’s newest and most pointless TV talent competition is coming to Middlestone-On-Sea. ‘So You Think We’re Remotely Interested?‘ has taken Friday night viewers by storm as it streams live variety shows from remote, provincial theatres across Britain. The theatre with the most audience votes wins regeneration and revival, and lord knows, Middlestone-on-Sea needs both.

The dying seaside backwater rests its hopes on the performance of two ex-best friends, gay Gary and straight Stag.

The visiting celebrity judge, the mysterious and timeless Miss P, knows that for all to be well, they must mend their broken friendship. But there is no success without trial. She magically swaps Gary and Stag into each other’s bodies. Secrets are learned, comedy ensues, and yet the community remains divided.

Rifts must be healed, differences accepted, and bodies swapped back before the season grand finale in four days’ time otherwise Middlestone will lose everything.

“Once you start on James Collins’ coming of age, body-swap comedy, you won’t be remotely interested in putting it down.” G. J. Mugwatch MP

Some Amazon reviews for James Collins

James Collins
My Amazon author page

“Brilliantly observed and a wicked wit.”

“Lots of laughs and loads of page turning moments. Yes, it was hard to put down.”

“Another unputdownable book that had me engrossed from beginning to end, and chuckling.”

“Finished this book yesterday and oh so amusing, would love to see it as a film.”

“More, I want more! I truly could not put this book down.”

You can find all of my books on my Amazon Author Page here.

Happy Easter, again, and here are some Symi photos.

Happy Easter from Symi Dream
Church architecture
Happy Easter from Symi Dream
Sunny Yialos
Happy Easter from Symi Dream
Boats are in
Happy Easter from Symi Dream
Yialos
Happy Easter from Symi Dream
Working on the land
Happy Easter from Symi Dream
Ready for Easter?
Happy Easter from Symi Dream
The view across to Turkey
Happy Easter from Symi Dream
The ‘Judas plant’ coming out for Easter
Happy Easter from Symi Dream
What are you up to?