More on yesterday’s subject, Ikea, without the song

As I was writing about the Ikea delivery for yesterday I thought I might go back to the online store and see if I could find a suitable office chair. You may remember that I currently sit on a modern piano stool while working at a reproduction antique desk where the height is all wrong and I have no back support. [caption id="attachment_13062" align="alignleft" width="300"]Symi Greece photos I thought, time for some decent Symi photos, from Neil[/caption] Every now and then I buy a new office chair in the hope that it will be the right height for working at this desk. They never are because to be high enough I’d need to get my knees under the desk and I can't because the desk drawers are too deep. Ideally I would take off the front of its middle drawer and put the keyboard in there and pull it out like a keyboard tray. But as the desk was my father’s and, battered though it might be, I don’t want to vandalise it, things stay the same and I stay sat on the piano stool. So, perhaps one of those kneel-sit, posture chair things might be an idea? I've found one that I have bookmarked for later when suitable funds are available, but while I was looking around I was startled by a few of the chairs Ikea have on offer. [caption id="attachment_13063" align="alignright" width="300"]Symi Greece photos An Ikea family gathering by the looks of it[/caption] Call me odd but I don’t actually name my piano stool, or furniture in general. I know the vacuum cleaner is called James but he came already christened, but other inanimate objects, no, they remain nameless. Unless they stop working in which case they are called all manner of names that shan’t be repeated here. But chairs? No, nameless they stay in our house. I mean, would you say to your guests, ‘Would you excuse me a moment vicar, I’ll just bring in Markus. Have you not met him? Oh he’s very new to the house, black you know and very soft under the derriere.’ As you show your guests around your home office you could also introduce: [caption id="attachment_13064" align="alignleft" width="200"]Symi Greece photos A village view[/caption] ‘This is Patrik, he’s been tested for 110 kilograms, yes do sit on him, he loves a challenge. And now then, Volmar…. Yes an unusual name I agree, but he is from Sweden you see, it’s Nordic. Volmar was a Saint Disibod monk who acted as prior and father confessor for the nuns at Disibodenberg, but you knew that, padre. Him, oh he's a simple thing with a detachable headrest and you can have him for £175. Pull him up to Micke there and have a try. Honestly, vicar, he can take any amount of sitting on. Who’s Micke? Why he’s our new desk of course, but never mind him, Jules is dying to slip in under you for complete support…’ And so the nonsense goes on. I mean, who calls a desk Mick? Or a chair Jules for that matter? Ikea do, but then they also call a chair Klemens, which is particularly worrying for me as it was the name of my school history teacher and my first boss in London, neither of whom I’d want in my house, let alone care to sit on. However, if you want sturdy and reliable then Stoljan the conference chair would suit, that’s a good, robust name. However I shall remain silent on the use of the ‘Skruvsta swivel chair’, Malkom, and the ‘Kolon floor protector’ that comes with him. (I am not making this up.) And if you thought the office chair department was strange enough (no offence to my Nordic friends) then you should come into the dining room. Here you can sit and sup on Stefan, gorge yourself on Garpen, or take your tea with Tobias (oh!). And don’t get me started on the armchairs. I mean, Popptorp? Really?
Thursday, October 2nd, 2014 No Comments
Categorized Under: Day to day

Ikea, from Athens to Symi in three texts and a phone call

Kalo mina, happy first of the month. Now, let’s talk about furniture, and in particular, furniture from Ikea. It is now possible to order from online and have your items delivered to Symi. Apparently. [caption id="attachment_13056" align="alignleft" width="300"]Symi Greece photos It's a doer-upper for sure. (Actually it's a site hut at the quarry, or something.)[/caption] Hearing this wonderful news from Jenine who is, let’s face it, the answer to every man’s online shopping needs, I dashed to to look for a television stand for our new TV. I found two and dithered between them for a while. One was as long as the table we currently use and the idea was to make more space so I went for the smaller one and now wonder if perhaps I should have gone for the larger one. I decided that if it is too small and looks silly I can either buy another and match them up, or just laugh at it because it looks silly. Thing is, it’s not arrived yet. Now then, nil desperandum because the site did say delivery within seven working days and this order was only placed last week, so I am not expecting any news until today at the earliest. At least I wasn't, but what Ikea do now, if you want them to, is send you text messages so you can track the progress of your new TV stand from warehouse you yourhouse. Within seconds of paying for my purchase I was sent a message thanking me (with a backup email saying the same) and then, a day later, I was sent another telling me it was warmly wrapped and ready to travel, and then another to say that, after a restful night, it had been dispatched. [caption id="attachment_13057" align="alignright" width="300"]Symi Greece photos The 'Symi' coming into harbour.[/caption] The following day I am at work when my phone rings. I didn't recognise the number though I can see it is an Athens code. Interesting I think, I wonder who this is. I answer and a cheerful chap on the other end asks me if I speak Greek. I explain, fluently, that I don’t speak it very well. He is clearly knocked sideways by this paradox, and so he speaks to me in English. Okay, fine by me, but who are you and how can I help you? He asks if I will be at home all day tomorrow, which I think is a little forward of him until he explains that he has a delivery for me from Ikia. That’s how it sounds, all run together, Ikia, to rhyme with stickier. Ah, Ikea! Now they are phoning me as well as texting me, jolly good. And yes, I will be in between nine and two tomorrow. The conversation continues: [caption id="attachment_13058" align="alignleft" width="225"]Symi Greece photos The handy sign on the donkey path (mentioned the other day)[/caption] Between nine and two? Yes, but would it be easier if I picked it up? You want to collect it? Where are you? [Something I didn’t catch.] Or would it be easier if you dropped it at the Rainbow Bar or the Olive Tree? Where? You know, Yiannis’ bar in Horio. Where? [Last few lines repeated in Greek but to no avail. He still asks, Where?] Where are you calling from? I ask, recalling the Athens post code. [A muffled rustle of papers, a guttural wheeze, and something resembling a grunt.] I will call you later, he says. And the phone goes down. Poor chap, must have thought I was in Athens, he clearly hadn’t read the address. But that is kind of how you get things delivered around here. Where shall I take it? You know, the house opposite where [name withheld] used to live before he got caught cheating with… Oh yes, him, opposite there? Yes. Tomorrow… That’s what I call a local postal service. Anyway, the upshot is that I am still waiting for said TV stand to arrive on the island, or at least for another entertaining phone call from ‘confused of Kolonaki’ or wherever he was calling me from. Meanwhile, the TV sits on the table as before and our house is still Ikea free. And for anyone who has not heard it, here is our take on the Ikea comedy song idea. (Lyrics by James Collins and Keith Bursnall, sung by Keith Bursnall; nothing I can do about the image.)
Wednesday, October 1st, 2014 No Comments
Categorized Under: Day to day

Judas Curse update-ish

Yesterday I received a photo of the editor for ‘The Judas Curse’ so I thought I would share it. [caption id="attachment_13049" align="alignleft" width="300"]Dan in his editing suite Dan in his editing suite[/caption] It shows Dan at work, but not on the film, he's working on some advertisement, but the notes that came with the picture were interesting. “That picture, of course, doesn’t show Dan on TJC. The screen is showing some golf commercial he was working on at the time it was taken. Describing the editing process would probably be like describing paint drying. He’s basically playing each clip over and over again, and deciding which bits of which clips to mix and match. I know that when they edited Apocalypse Now they estimated that actual cutting and splicing averaged about 10 seconds a day for three years. The rest of the 12 hours per day for three years was spent watching and re-watching each clip hundreds of times through and deciding exactly where to cut and where to join.” [caption id="attachment_13050" align="alignright" width="300"]Symi Greece photos View from Profit Ilias monastery, Saturday[/caption] So, the bottom line from that I guess is, editing takes a long time. We’ve seen the first 40 minutes of the film, in a very rough cut, without the full sound and music and with some parts of scenes still to be added in. It’s looking very good, though it’s going to take a while yet before we see it at a film festival or on the shelves. Meanwhile, I think everyone has cleared up after the weekend storm. Our house remained very dry thanks to an early roof painting session, and so far we’ve had no ill effects from the recent wet weather, apart from the doors starting to expand and not fit properly. The temperature is now set to rise again, apparently, though it was still cold at six yesterday morning. There’s a definite smell of autumn in the air, which is very refreshing. [caption id="attachment_13051" align="alignleft" width="300"]Symi Greece photos Chapel floor tiles[/caption] I have a quiet week ahead now, with nothing much actually planned or booked in, apart from the ‘must do’ thing of having to go and pay the water bill before Friday. That’s about as exciting as it gets around here for me at the moment. But not long to go now and the season will be over, work finished and I can spend my days walking and writing and starting on my complete novel mentoring course. Ah, here comes October…
Tuesday, September 30th, 2014 No Comments
Categorized Under: Day to day

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