Kalo mina, happy first of the month. Now, let’s talk about furniture, and in particular, furniture from Ikea. It is now possible to order from Ikea.gr online and have your items delivered to Symi. Apparently.
[caption id="attachment_13056" align="alignleft" width="300"]
It's a doer-upper for sure. (Actually it's a site hut at the quarry, or something.)[/caption]
Hearing this wonderful news from Jenine who is, let’s face it, the answer to every man’s online shopping needs, I dashed to Ikea.gr to look for a television stand for our new TV. I found two and dithered between them for a while. One was as long as the table we currently use and the idea was to make more space so I went for the smaller one and now wonder if perhaps I should have gone for the larger one. I decided that if it is too small and looks silly I can either buy another and match them up, or just laugh at it because it looks silly. Thing is, it’s not arrived yet.
Now then, nil desperandum because the site did say delivery within seven working days and this order was only placed last week, so I am not expecting any news until today at the earliest. At least I wasn't, but what Ikea do now, if you want them to, is send you text messages so you can track the progress of your new TV stand from warehouse you yourhouse. Within seconds of paying for my purchase I was sent a message thanking me (with a backup email saying the same) and then, a day later, I was sent another telling me it was warmly wrapped and ready to travel, and then another to say that, after a restful night, it had been dispatched.
[caption id="attachment_13057" align="alignright" width="300"]
The 'Symi' coming into harbour.[/caption]
The following day I am at work when my phone rings. I didn't recognise the number though I can see it is an Athens code. Interesting I think, I wonder who this is. I answer and a cheerful chap on the other end asks me if I speak Greek. I explain, fluently, that I don’t speak it very well. He is clearly knocked sideways by this paradox, and so he speaks to me in English. Okay, fine by me, but who are you and how can I help you? He asks if I will be at home all day tomorrow, which I think is a little forward of him until he explains that he has a delivery for me from Ikia
. That’s how it sounds, all run together, Ikia
, to rhyme with stickier
. Ah, Ikea! Now they are phoning me as well as texting me, jolly good. And yes, I will be in between nine and two tomorrow. The conversation continues:
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The handy sign on the donkey path (mentioned the other day)[/caption]
Between nine and two?
Yes, but would it be easier if I picked it up?
You want to collect it?
Where are you?
[Something I didn’t catch.]
Or would it be easier if you dropped it at the Rainbow Bar or the Olive Tree?
You know, Yiannis’ bar in Horio.
[Last few lines repeated in Greek but to no avail. He still asks, Where?]
Where are you calling from? I ask, recalling the Athens post code.
[A muffled rustle of papers, a guttural wheeze, and something resembling a grunt.] I will call you later, he says.
And the phone goes down. Poor chap, must have thought I was in Athens, he clearly hadn’t read the address. But that is kind of how you get things delivered around here. Where shall I take it? You know, the house opposite where [name withheld] used to live before he got caught cheating with… Oh yes, him, opposite there? Yes. Tomorrow… That’s what I call a local postal service.
Anyway, the upshot is that I am still waiting for said TV stand to arrive on the island, or at least for another entertaining phone call from ‘confused of Kolonaki’ or wherever he was calling me from. Meanwhile, the TV sits on the table as before and our house is still Ikea free. And for anyone who has not heard it, here is our take on the Ikea comedy song idea. (Lyrics by James Collins and Keith Bursnall, sung by Keith Bursnall; nothing I can do about the image.)